On Purim, one of the happiest days of the Jewish
calendar, the community of Shiloh was hit with not one, but two, deaths. The
first was of an almost-eighteen-year-old boy, grandson to our neighbors, who
had his whole life in front of him. The second was of a rabbi, a young
grandfather, father, husband, and friend. Both had been in my prayers for
almost a year. Both deaths were not
unexpected and yet they hit hard.
With their deaths all the questions of life
resurfaced. Why do some live long, painless lives and others suffer lingering
illnesses? Why can this one find their perfect spouse after only one date and
that one searches for years? Why is one
couple blessed with many children and another struggles with infertility? Why
does one family have it easy financially and another is constantly grappling to
make ends meet? Why are there wars and terror and natural disasters and
plagues? Why? Why? Why?
I’m not the first, nor will I be the last, to ask
these questions. Job asked them. So did King David. And many others. The answer
is always there, right in the middle of this week’s Torah portion, Ki Tisa. In
Chapter 33, verse 23 HaShem tells Moshe that he can see His back, but His face
may not be seen. In other words, there will be many things that we will not be
able to understand in this world. They will become clear only in the World to
Come.
Sometimes it seems easy to demand: What kind of G-d
could allow this to happen? Sometimes it’s tempting to give up my faith.
But I don’t because I know it would be a far scarier world without HaShem’s
guidance. It would be far lonelier without His accompaniment.
And so I’ve rebooted my faith. I believe, with all my
heart, the two precious souls who died on Purim are now in the World of Truth.
I believe that they now understand all the working of HaShem. Someday I will
too.
My novel, Growing With My Cousin, a good winter read, is available at Jewish bookstores and on line at http://www.feldheim.com/growing-with-my-cousin.html or https://www.amazon.com/Growing-Cousin-Ester-Katz-Silvers/dp/194635113X/
3 comments:
This post is featured in A Jewish Grandmother : Corona Lock-down Boredom, Try Reading Blogs, my most recent blog carnival aka roundup. Glad you're still blogging in these "interesting times."
Well said. It is the choice I have made, too. My life is infinitely happier than it was before I "rebooted my faith." May we share better news... for long, healthy, happier years.
Thank you both for commenting.
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