A Grandmother's Thoughts

After my daughter-in-law’s grandmother died all her cousins gathered together and discovered each one of them thought they were the favorite grandchild. How I’d like for my grandchildren to feel the same! However, relationships aren’t made by magic. So, when it was announced last Thursday, in light of the corona epidemic, that schools would be closed I saw it as an opportunity.

Unlike summer vacation there would be no day camps, no youth group trips, no organized activities at all. My children would need a break from their kids and the kids would need a change of scenery.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to take them to plays or bowling or museums like usual. I could though, or so I thought, do activities with them in my home. We could tie-dye, bake, play games. They could wash the car, work on the garden, help me with Pesach cleaning.  Maybe I could teach them some English or learn parts of the Seder Haggadah together.

One thing that was troubling me, though, was how to keep the instructed two-meter distance between me and my grandchildren. A conversation with my friend, a nurse, set me straight. I’d missed the part of the Thursday night announcement which stated anyone over the age of sixty should stay away from children. That included grandchildren!!!

Her information sent me into a tailspin until I spoke to my family doctor. She recommended not babysitting but not to totally isolate myself and gave me some commonsense guidelines. I liked her advice and the following day spent some time with a couple of grandchildren outside. We blew kisses, gave virtual hugs, and told each other “I love you”. We did not touch one another. Still it was wonderful time.

The next day I made up with another grandchild to drive to the toy store about fifteen kilometers away and buy him a bicycle helmet. The following day I planned to have two granddaughters come for the morning.

And then the defense minister, Naftali Bennett, made an announcement explaining the need for grandchildren to stay away from their grandparents. The children can be sick with the corona virus, show no symptoms, and be carriers. Although I’ve never thought of myself as elderly the statistics classify me that way and I’m considered high risk.

His announcement made me weep. Were they tears of self-pity or fear or prayer? I’m not sure but after a short cry I was able to concentrate on the blessings I do have. With a heavy heart I cancelled out the trip to the toy store. I knew no child would be coming to the house the following day.

Not all grandparents are being as cautious as I am. Some are younger than sixty. Some think the rules don’t apply to them. Others are in situations in which they have no choice but to take care of their grandchildren.

I’m following the rules. One of my frustrations with this corona crisis is my helpless feeling. Age precludes me from doing many of the things I did in former emergencies. One thing I am able to do is take necessary precautions. While doing so I pray the epidemic will soon end. I also pray that I’ll be able to take my grandchildren on outings in the near future. And I pray to be alive and healthy for their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and even their weddings.

May we all survive the corona pandemic.

My novel, Growing With My Cousin, a good winter read, is available at Jewish bookstores and on line at  http://www.feldheim.com/growing-with-my-cousin.html or https://www.amazon.com/Growing-Cousin-Ester-Katz-Silvers/dp/194635113X/