Saying No to the Stranger at the Door

When she knocked I was just finishing my dinner. She had a kind face and I invited her inside. Her story seemed sincere and she had letters of recommendation so I wrote out, what I thought, was a generous tzedakah check. She thanked me, looked at the amount, and declared, “This isn’t enough.”

Shocked, I told her I could give the check to someone else who’d appreciate it.

She assured me she appreciated my check but she’d come all the way from Haifa and needed more.

I was adamant in telling her I’d given her what I could. She was adamant in telling me she wanted more. We had a few rounds of the same conversation until she finally gave up. I closed the door on her with a sigh of relief.

Outside the weather was pleasant. After blessing us with a wealth of rain The Almighty began a week of dry, sunny weather. It was great for laundry, taking walks, and going to the park. However, as the week wore on and there was no precipitation in the forecasts I started to worry and pray.

HaShem, thank you for all the rain You gave us but please don’t stop. We need more!

It was after making this plea several times that I had a startling realization. I sounded just like the woman at the door. Did HaShem resent my ingratitude? Did He want to get rid of me as quickly as I’d wanted the woman to leave my house?

A talk with my rabbi assured me I’d acted properly by not giving the woman more money. Although it would be nice to give her as much as she wanted my tzedakah funds are not unlimited. I shouldn’t turn away anyone who comes to my door, but my first responsibility is to the poor of my community, the ones with whom I have a relationship of sorts.

I had no relationship with the stranger at the door. She’s not going to invite me to her home in Haifa nor do I want her to. Perhaps her pleas for more money came from a place of deep pain and need. Maybe she’s a just professional beggar who tries to manipulate others. I don’t know.

My not knowing is what makes my analogy ring false. For I do have a relationship with the Almighty. He knows what I’ve done with His precious water in the past and how I hope to continue using it to serve Him in the future.  So, I’ll keep on begging Him, not like a stranger at the door, rather like His beloved child. I’ll continue to pray that HaShem will give us the rainfall we need, this year and every year to come.

My novel, Growing With My Cousin, a good winter read, is available at Jewish bookstores and on line at  http://www.feldheim.com/growing-with-my-cousin.html or

https://www.amazon.com/Growing-Cousin-Ester-Katz-Silvers/dp/194635113X/