Iris Haim

If anyone is justified to have a gigantic chip on her shoulder, it would be Iris Haim. First, her son, Yotam, was kidnapped from his home in Kfar Aza on Simchat Torah. She and the rest of her family had to evacuate from their nearby kibbutz with only the clothes on their backs. And then, ten weeks later, after Yotam, along with Alon Shamriz and Samer Talalka, succeeded in escaping the evil clutches of Hamas, they were killed by our own soldiers who mistook them for terrorists. Yet Iris seems to be devoid of resentment and anger. This past Thursday she spoke at our local girls’ high school, and I was privileged to be in the audience. For over an hour the girls sat spellbound as Iris recounted her story. She made some powerful statements that I believe impressed the girls as much as they did me. Here are just a few of her nuggets of wisdom. Iris told us that back in the beginning of the war it upset her to hear the complaints that the government wasn’t doing anything to rescue the hostages. Our soldiers were dying. That wasn’t anything? An important event for Iris was when the Horev Girls’ High School contacted her about a program. The event had a twofold purpose: A memorial for Yosef Malachi Gedalia, a former student of the Horev Boys’ High School and one of the soldiers who’d been killed in Kfar Aza on Simchat Torah. And prayers pleading for Yotam and all the hostages to return home. (As of this writing there are still 48 civilians held captive by Hamas.) While standing arm-in-arm with Yosef Malachi Gedalia’s mother Iris had an ah-ha moment. Everyone who had come to Kfar Aza, to the whole area, to rescue the Israelis and repel the terrorists did not check if they were helping an observant Jew or secular one. They were there for Am Yisroel because we are all brothers. Once Yotam was killed she, of course, mourned. With her mourning, though was the comfort that he died a free man, not in captivity at the hands of Hamas. While sitting shiva, the wife of the officer of the soldiers who had shot Yotam came to comfort Iris. This woman told Iris the soldiers were broken with grief and regret. Iris’s reaction was immediate. She wanted to meet with them but since they were in Gaza that was impossible. Instead, she sent a voice message encouraging them, telling them they did what they needed to do defending the Jewish people. Later during their leave, the soldiers did visit her and there was a closure of sorts for them. Many of the girls sitting in the school auditorium have brothers and fathers fighting. She told all of us that everyone has their story. It is our choice whether to become a strong heroine of our story. She did not describe herself as a heroine, but she truly is one. Her optimism is inspiring. When life is going well, anyone can be positive. Challenges prove one’s mettle and Iria has indeed met her challenges head on. It is my prayer that we learn from her to see the good in others and try to improve the beautiful world HaShem gave us. What I have written here does not do justice to Iris’s desire for unity. I urge you to find one of her interviews and see for yourself. To view the prayers at Horev click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UXoLHjlPxc&list=RD_UXoLHjlPxc&start_radio=1 You don’t need to know Hebrew to understand the message.