There were
about a dozen women at the special spot inside the Kotel tunnels. Some were
regulars and others were new faces. A few were deep in meditation. Others were
busy reciting the morning prayers or chapters of psalms. I hadn’t been there
long when a woman I had never seen before arrived. She was about my age and
seemed quite comfortable to be at the special spot. Perhaps she was another
regular, just not on the days I usually came. Her face was beaming and she was
all smiles. She opened her mouth to speak and instead of a soft, whispery voice
she addressed us in an enthusiastic tone.
“I just have
to share my joy with you,” she announced happily. “Last night my grandson got
engaged and on Shabbat we celebrated another grandson’s marriage. I’m so
happy!”
Some of the
women smiled and nodded their heads.
Others stopped their prayers to wish her mazel tov. I, however,
stared at the woman in shock. Wasn’t she
afraid of the Evil Eye?
As a girl I thought
the Evil Eye was some superstitious nonsense from the Yentes of Fiddler on
the Roof and her ilk. That was before my middle child was born. This
particular child was only a month old when he began sleeping through the night.
It was not a measly seven or eight hour night, either. It was twelve good hours
and I was waking up each morning full of energy to face all the tasks and
responsibilities of the coming day. A week later I bumped into an acquaintance
with a six-month-old and she asked me how my baby was doing.
Without
thinking I told her. “He’s sleeping through the night!” I gushed. The minute the words were out of my mouth I
wished I could have taken them back. The look on the other woman’s face was one
of pure, I’m not sure if I could call it envy or jealousy, but it certainly
held no joy for my good fortune.
That night
my baby woke in the middle of the night. Probably a fluke I reassured myself.
The next night he also awoke. Maybe I’d eaten something he didn’t like? After
the third night I was resolved. Rubbing my eyes I dialed the number of my
acquaintance. There were a few minutes of chit chat.
“How was
Shabbat?”
“Fine, by
you?”
“Great, the
kids are ok?”
“Yes, and
yours?”
“Okay,” I
hesitated. “But you don’t have to be envious anymore. The baby stopped sleeping
through the night.”
“Oh, I’m
sorry.” She did sound sincere. “I do have to admit I was jealous. Mine is still
getting up twice a night.”
“I hope
he’ll start sleeping soon,” I told her.
“I hope
yours does, too.”
We hung up
and guess what, my baby slept through the night again that night and the night
after and the night after that.
I began to
take a second look at this Evil Eye idea. In Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers,
which are learned on the long, summer Shabbat afternoons the Evil Eye is
mentioned.
Whoever
has the following three traits is among the disciples of Avraham; and [whoever
has] three different traits is among the disciples of the wicked Balaam. Those
who have a good eye, a humble spirit, and an undemanding soul are the disciples
of our forefather Avraham. Those who have an evil eye, and arrogant spirit, and
a greedy soul are the disciples of the wicked Balaam.
I had known
who Avraham was since I was a little girl in religious school. Balaam was a new
figure for me, though. I learned that he was the non-Jewish prophet who knew
how to curse but not how to bless. He was hired by Balak, king of Moav, to
curse the Jewish people who, under the leadership of Moshe, were advancing
towards Canaan to inherit the Land of Israel. (see the Torah portion Balak in
Numbers for more information.)
Not only did
Balaam know only how to curse and not to bless, tradition teaches us that he
only had one eye, the evil one. According to a lecture from Rav Leff, shilta,
I learned that we all need two eyes, one to see the good and one to
sometimes see the bad so we can fix it.
A person
using his good eye will see the positive, be happy with the blessings of
others, and generally be a contented person. The one with an evil eye will be
pessimistic and petty, jealous of others’ good fortune, and by and large a miserable
person. There are those who believe his negative energy can affect others.
Others believe that this negative energy can have no affect on someone who is
full of good deeds.
The
woman from the Kotel Tunnels is probably a woman full of good deeds and wasn’t
worried about the Evil Eye. Still, I wondered how my friend with four unmarried
daughters aged thirty to forty would have reacted to her good news had she been there? How would the grandmother
who had seen her grandson just go through a horrible divorce feel? Would they
be able to share the woman’s happiness or would they have pangs of jealousy?
I
have learned that when one is at the height of happiness it is an opportune
time to bless others. That is why guests line up before the brides and grooms at
weddings and in front of the sandeks, the godfathers, at brit milahs.
They want to receive a blessing from someone whose cup of joy is full. The
happy grandmother was in the perfect position to pray for others who needed to
find their perfect match. Hopefully she seized that opportunity and in doing so
foiled whatever power The Evil Eye may have had over her.
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